


Disintegrate

by restlessdreaming



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, M/M, Pining, malum, malum fluff, there isn't really smut i'm sorry, this isn't really any kind of au it's just like.....whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4051855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/restlessdreaming/pseuds/restlessdreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Calum..." Michael bit his lip and looked at him.<br/>"No, Michael. I'm sure. Please, let's just do this." Calum felt the intensity rise in his voice as Michael looked him over and swallowed hard.<br/>"Come here," he patted the spot next to him on the bed. Calum sat down ever so gently. "If you're sure you want to do this, we're doing it. But if you want to stop at any time, just let me know. Calum inhaled deeply and nodded. He leaned into Michael, and, for the first time, felt himself disintegrate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disintegrate

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this idea this afternoon while I was doing my math homework. I hope you like it!

Calum woke up with a horrible headache.  _Hangover._ He thought. He opened his eyes further to realize that he was also naked. And alone. He groaned. Another drunken one night stand. Another night he wouldn't remember. He sat up and found a Coke and some Advil on the table next to him.  _Weird._ He didn't put it there. He found the note, and smiled as soon as he recognized the handwriting.  _"Hey, Cal. Noticed  you were busy. Spent the night in Ashton's room. Left this here for you, since it seemed like you would need it. Text me when you wake up. -Mikey."_ That Michael...

To Calum's surprise, Michael was already in the room when he got out of the shower. "Hey, bro. What are you doing in here?"

"This is kind of my room too. And you never texted me so I just came over. It's like, noon, Cal." 

"What? It can't be.." It was. What time did Calum get back to his room? 

"You had some blonde with you, so I just assumed you would want some alone time. I was with Ashton and Luke." Michael sounded kind of bitter. 

"Jealous much, Mike?" Calum chuckled as Michael blushed. 

"Not jealous. Just mad because we haven't had any time to just hang out, and the one night we did, you brought a girl back to the room." He tossed a pillow at Calum. 

"Aw, Mikey. We have another free night Monday. I promise that we'll hang out then."

"You're not going to bring some random girl up, right?"

"No, Michael. Monday will be all about you. We can do whatever you want to do. You wanna rent a lame chick-flick? We'll do it. You wanna play a board game? We'll play whatever you want. You wanna just cuddle and eat pizza? Well, babe, you're in luck. We'll do it. It's all you, Michael."

"Ha-ha. Even with the crazy hangover you probably have, your sarcasm is still  _lethal._ " This time, the pillow was tossed back to Michael. Michael laughed as Calum rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed and began to get dressed. 

****

Saturday and most of Sunday was spent writing. The band was in London writing and recording, which meant a lot of late nights and very little time off. Which sucked for Calum. He couldn't party, and more importantly, he couldn't hang out with his friends. Ashton, Luke, and Michael were more to Calum than just his bandmates. The four boys had been close friends for about three and a half years, and man, were those years great. Most of all, he had been friends with Luke and Michael since school, and he had been friends with Michael since they were very small. Sure, the other boys meant a lot to Calum, but Michael meant the most. Because he had been there. He was there when Calum's heart had been broken time and time again by girls that didn't matter. He was there when Calum started playing football. Cheering him on. He had been to countless family dinners with him. They spent almost every night together, in Calum's twin-size bed that began to get uncomfortable when they were teenagers. Michael was just different. He was his brother. And Calum loved him a lot. Michael loved him too, even though he got mad every now and again. It was usually about something stupid like Calum hooking up with a random girl instead of hanging out with him like Friday. _Why did he get mad about stuff like that?_ It confused Calum, so he usually just shoved the thought to the back of his mind and dismissed it as Michael being clingy. Whatever, they were going to hang out Monday night. Just the two of them. Like it used to be. It was going to be great, and maybe Michael would stop acting so weird about Calum not hanging out with him. 

****

Sunday night, they were invited to a party. All four of them. Only Luke and Calum went, though. Ashton wanted to call his family, and Michael just didn't feel like going. That wasn't the truth, though. As soon as Calum said he was going, it seemed as if Michael became disgusted with the whole thing. Whatever. They were going to hang out tomorrow night, so it's not Michael had a reason to be mad. 

He was already asleep when Calum came back to the room. Which sucked because Calum wanted to tell him about how Luke tried to dance, but he was too drunk and fell over and knocked a few people over. But, he would have to wait until tomorrow. He sighed and decided to just take a shower and wash the sweat and little pieces of glitter off of him. 

"So, you're back." Apparently, Michael had been awake.

"Yeah. What did you expect? Did you think I was going to go home with some girl and not return until tomorrow afternoon?"

"That seems to be the trend nowadays." Michael spat the words out at Calum and gave him the dirtiest looks. 

"What's your problem? Ever since we got to London, you've been acting like I have to hang out with you 24/7. Like, I can't go to one party without you. Or I can't have a couple hook-ups without you acting like I just committed the most heinous crime ever! What _is_ it? What did I do? Because we've been friends for years, and you've never acted like this." Michael just stared at him with a look of defiance. "Fine. I'm done. I'm going to Luke and Ashton's room. Call me when you grow up." Calum walked over to his bed and grabbed whatever he could. 

"Calum..." Michael said softly.

"No. I don't want to hear it. Just take some time to figure it out. I'm done right now." He stormed out of the room and banged on Ashton and Luke's door. Ashton, of course, answered.

"Calum? What's wrong?" He had been asleep.

"Michael. _Michael_ is what's wrong." Ashton rubbed his eye and sighed. 

"Come on in, but be quiet because Luke's asleep." He moved so that Calum could come in. "Tell me what's wrong. You and Michael never fight."

"That's the thing. We  _never_ fight. I mean, we fight about stupid stuff like video games or who's taking the first shower, but never about anything like this."

"Like what?" Ashton bit his lip and cocked his head in confusion. Calum sighed and started at the beginning, telling him everything without leaving anything out. 

When he finished, Ashton looked down at his lap and sighed. "Calum, I think you're blind."

"Blind? To what?" 

"I wish I could explain it to you, but I think you should let Michael tell you. You can stay here for the night and cool off. Just make sure you leave Luke alone. He gets really grumpy when he's hungover." Calum sat down on the side of bed net to Ashton. 

"Hey, bro. Thanks for listening to me. It helps."

"Anytime, dude. Just...talk to Michael. He's been wanting to talk to you for a while now."  _About what?_ Calum thought. Honestly, the thought that Michael needed to talk him made him nervous. What was he going to do? Confess his undying love for Calum? That seemed ridiculous to him. If Michael was in love with him, he would know. Michael was straight, and so was Calum. They were just best friends.  _He's probably just going to lecture me for never hanging out with him. He is a jealous person, after all._ That had to be it. That's the only thing that made sense. Calum decided to just stop worrying about it. He exhaled for a while as he felt himself relax, and before he knew it, he was asleep. 

****

"Hey, Cal. Wake up." Calum opened his eyes to see Ashton standing over him. "Morning, bro. You can stay here for a little bit if you want. Luke's in the shower, so we have like an hour before he gets out." Ashton chuckled at his own comment, which made Calum smile. He sat up and rubbed his face. 

"Have you heard from Michael?"

"Yeah. He called about fifteen minutes ago asking if you came here last night. I said yes, and he told me to tell you that he was going to stay in the room all day, so you can go over there whenever. And also that he needs to talk to you." 

"About what?"

"I don't think I'm at liberty to say. But, like I said, you can stay for as long as you want. Luke will probably get out of the shower and go back to sleep, and I just want someone to hang out with for a little bit." 

"How about we go shopping for a little bit? Get some lunch? Maybe I can buy Michael something to make him realize I'm sorry."

"Yeah, we can do that. Let's just wait until Luke gets out so we can tell him." A few moments later, Luke staggered out of the shower still dripping wet. 

"Hi, Cal. I noticed you were in here. Did you and Michael fight or something?"

"Luke, Calum and I are going shopping. Do you want to go? Or are you too hungover?" 

"I'll just stay here." He flopped down on his bed and covered up. He was asleep instantly.

"I'll never understand how he does that. Anyway, are you ready to go?" 

"I just have to brush my teeth. I didn't bring my toothbrush or anything."

"It's cool. I've got an extra one you can use." Ashton was always prepared. Maybe that't why he was dubbed the "father" of the band. 

****

Going out with Ashton was great. They had a great lunch at some cafe, and he bought Michael a cool t-shirt from this store that sold really old band merchandise. Michael would like it, he was sure he would. If he wasn't still mad...

"Do you think Michael's still mad at me?" Calum asked after they took a few fan pictures.

"He didn't sound mad. Just worried. I think you should talk to him. In fact...we should be getting back to the hotel. Luke might be awake by now, and you seriously need to talk to Michael."

"Ah, Luke. Are you and him dating or something?" Calum laughed as Ashton rolled his eyes.

"No, of course not. I just promised him we would go see a movie today."

"Cool, which one?"

"You, my friend, are not invited. You told Michael the two of you would hang out, and you need to talk to him. Let's go before Michael blows my phone up. He's been texting all day."

"About what?"

"You. He just wants to talk to you, Cal." 

****

"Michael? I'm back. I brought you a present." Calum turned the corner to see Michael, still in bed. 

"What is that?" He sat up. He looked like he'd been crying. Or maybe that was just Calum's imagination. He threw the bag on Michael's bed and sat down on his own. "Cool, an Aerosmith shirt. Where'd you find this at?"

"Some vintage music store thing. I thought you would like it."

"Well, I do. Tonight, I thought we could just stay in and watch a movie. I was thinking  _Anchorman_? I know you've seen a million times, but it's one of your favorites right? At least that's what I-"

"Ashton said you wanted to talk to me?" Calum watched as Michael blushed and swallowed hard. 

"Yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, nothing's  _wrong_..." 

"Then what is it?" Calum was growing impatient. 

"I have a confession to make. So, I've known this for a while, but I've only told Ashton. Anyway, I'm bi. Like, bisexual."

"Oh...I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't mind."

"No, Calum. There's more. Can you just shut up and let me talk?" The intensity in Michael's voice rose, and Calum knew it was serious. "Like I was trying to say, I'm bi. And, for the past few years, I've had this...really weird crush on you. Like, I think it started when we were like 14 or something?" Calum didn't know what to say. It seemed like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. His best friend...how could he have not known? This explains his recent behavior. This explains some of the things Michael did. Like the time he ignored Calum when he started dating a girl in Year 9 and didn't talk to him again until he and the girl broke up a month later. This explains why sometimes when they would cuddle, Michael would act really weird. It explained why Michael always stared... The bad thing was, Calum didn't feel the same way. At least, he thought he didn't. No, Calum was straight. Completely. He didn't have feelings for Michael. He didn't. Honestly. 

Ashton was right. Calum  _was_ blind. "You're probably really weirded out, right?" Michael watched him from his bed, pale-faced. He was embarrassed. 

"No. I just. Didn't expect it. That's all." 

"Of course not. I mean, you're probably nothing but straight, so why did I bother telling you, right?" Something inside Calum stirred. It was weird. Like, it was a warm feeling. He felt...happy? Confused? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure what to say to Michael. He was straight. Definitely. Positively. So, why did he all of a sudden realize how cute Michael looked in his baggy shirt and sweatpants? Wait, why did he feel the weird urge to go kiss him? No, no, no. That was just Calum. He didn't have feelings for Michael. Or did he? Had he always? No, he couldn't have. Impossible. Or...possible? 

"I need to go get some air." Calum walked out of the room and down to Ashton and Luke's. Thankfully, they were still in there. 

"Did he tell you?" Ashton smirked.

"Yeah, yeah, he did. And I'm not sure what to do." Ashton chuckled. 

"Hey, Luke. We're going to have to leave a little later than planned. I have to help Calum out for a minute."

"What about me?" Luke glared at Ashton. 

"Fine. You can help too. So, Calum. What did he say?"

"Well, to make a long story short, he said he was bisexual and that he had a crush on me." Ashton nodded as Luke looked between the two of them. 

"You mean...Michael is bi? And he never told me?"

"Luke, he wanted to keep it a secret. He didn't tell Calum, and they've been friends for ten years. But I mean, he had good reason to not tell him." Ashton laughed to himself. "What did you say?"

"I told him I needed to get some air. And then I came over here."

Ashton bit his lip. "How do you feel about it?"

"Well, I don't care about Michael being bi. I mean, it's his preference. But about the crush thing...I'm not sure. I mean, it explains a lot. The thing is, I feel kind of...happy? Like, I feel content, maybe?"

"Do you think you developed feelings for Michael?"

"No.  _No._ I think I'm just okay with knowing. I don't know." 

"Well, we're going home in two days. Maybe you can take some time to think and then talk to him about it. Because you can't brush something like this off. It's too important." Ashton was right. He needed to think about it. Seriously think about it. Because this wasn't something to be taken lightly. During the break, he would think about it. Who knows, maybe he was going to have some huge Come To His Senses moment where he realized that he really did have feelings for Michael. Kind of unlikely, but anything is possible. 

****

He did have feelings for Michael. During break, he went on a roadtrip with Ashton and some of his friends. One night, randomly, he started thinking about Michael. He began to think about what he liked about him. He thought about Michael having feelings for him. And suddenly, he was okay with it. And, for the rest of the trip, he thought about Michael. It was like he couldn't get him out of his mind. Like he was always with Calum. It made Calum feel alive, and it made him feel like he had finally figured everything out. Man, did he feel good. Two weeks ago, he was straight. Now, he wasn't? Maybe he was bi too? He dismissed the thought. He didn't need to put a label on it. Not now, anyway. He liked Michael, and that's all that mattered. As soon as he got home, he texted Michael. 

_Hey, Mikey. Can we talk?_

_Hey. Yeah, when are you free?_

_How about now?_

_Haha, sounds good. I'll be over soon. I thought you were done with me._

_I would never be done with you, Clifford._

_Shut up. I'm coming over._

"Calum! Michael's here!" His mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs. 

"Send him up!" Not too long later, Michael walked in. 

"Hey, Ca-" he was interrupted by Calum's hug. He basically attacked him. He tackled him onto the bed. "Well, someone's happy to see me." 

"I'm always happy to see you, you idiot." Calum nuzzled his nose into Michael's neck. 

"What's going on? You haven't hugged me like that in years."

"Well, I thought about everything." Calum said, sitting up and rolling off of Michael. "And, I needed to talk to you about it!"

"Well, what's up?"

"I feel the same way."

"You what?"

"Feel the same way. When I was on that roadtrip, I started thinking about you. And that's when I realized I felt the same way about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you, actually. The more I thought, the more it felt right." He smiled as Michael's eyes widened. 

"Well, this is...great." Michael sighed with relief as Calum decided to try something. He scooted over so that his thighs were touching Michael's. He turned so that he was facing Michael, and in one motion, he grabbed Michael's face and pressed his lips against his own. Suddenly, it was as if the weight of the world was lifted off of Calum's shoulders. He smiled as Michael laughed into the kiss, deepening it. 

****

"Come on, Michael. We've been dating for six months. I'm ready, you're ready, let's do this!" Calum pecked Michael's cheek as Michael sighed and shook his head. Calum stood up from the bed and huffed. "Michael..." he whined. 

"Calum..." Michael bit his lip and looked at him.

"No, Michael. I'm sure. Please, let's just do this." Calum felt the intensity rise in his voice as Michael looked him over and swallowed hard.

"Come here," he patted the spot next to him on the bed. Calum sat down ever so gently. "If you're sure you want to do this, we're doing it. But if you want to stop at any time, just let me know. Calum inhaled deeply and nodded. He leaned into Michael, and, for the first time, felt himself disintegrate.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can come talk to me on my [tumblr](http://calumthomasofficial.tumblr.com).


End file.
